paxUnited trainers have recently developed a training that will empower some select students of Duncanville High School to bring peace and wellbeing to their school and district. The high school Peer Mediators, the officers of the Student Council and the Safe School Ambassadors joined together and participated in a one-day training where they began a battle against bullying and intolerance.

Broken up into three steps, the training first consisted of an educational piece where information and statistics were shared and discussed regarding bullying, cyberbullying, hazing and dating violence. The second step of this training was centered on communication and listening skills building. The participants discussed the necessity of positive communication and the importance of being able to effectively communicate with others, even while in the throes of conflict. After all, what we do not talk out, we will act out.

Finally, the students took to their feet in a number of activities where the ideas discussed earlier and the skills developed previously were put into use. These activities have at their core positive messages of tolerance, understanding, inclusion and teamwork. Some of the activities shed light on the experience of being on either side of the bully problem and the feelings encountered by the individual because of it. Others emphasize the importance, the understanding and the acceptance of diversity as avenues to both more positive social interactions as well as a more peaceful social climate.

As mentioned, this training put into motion an effort by Duncanville High School students to bring positive change to the rest of their school district. The next step is for the high school students to take these activities mentioned to the students in the elementary, intermediate, and middle schools throughout their district. They will spend some time with their younger counterparts and carry out the activities just as the paxUnited trainers did with them, keeping the purpose and message of the activities intact.

These students understand that bullying related behavior affects everyone. The learning process and student relationships both suffer greatly as a result. They have also come to the realization that changing the social climate and the social norms of the district with regards to bullying related violence requires the efforts of everyone in the entire environment. It is this training coupled with their efforts to team up with the other schools in the district that are real evidence that Duncanville High School is stepping up against the bully problem.

A seemingly routine training at a school in the Dallas area quickly became more extraordinary than expected, and has a couple of our trainers referring to it as one of their fondest and most inspiring moments in recent training history.

In the Temperature Reading portion of the training where students begin and continue to develop lasting bonds and friendships with one another, one of the students shared that recently many members of his family have been exposed to the deadly drug cartel-related violence along the U.S./Mexico border. As the trainers were shocked in hearing the details of his story, many of the other student participants were not at all surprised. What’s more, many of them shared similar stories in which members of their own families had also been directly exposed to the violence. 

Stories about the cartel-related violence are frequent in the recent news, like this Yahoo News article about drug cartels recruiting Texas children. These stories paint a bleak picture about the state of lawlessness near the U.S./Mexico Border. On the other hand, experiences like the one our trainers had at this particular school help shed a more positively optimistic light on these events. Within the walls of this school are students who are directly affected by the violence taking place around the U.S./Mexico border. Instead of allowing this violence to negatively impact them, these students rise above the violence and work to establish a peaceful environment at their school on a daily basis by serving as peer mediators. We are astounded by the sheer gravity of the challenges these students and their families face daily considering the current political and economic climates, and the respective struggles. However, we are more amazed by the grace and determination they exhibit as they overcome the negative obstacles they encounter.

It shouldn’t go without saying that the PMP Program at this school has consistently been one of the best evaluated programs we have. Staff has reported a distinct drop in the severity, as well as a clear shift in the type, of discipline referrals at the school since the PMP Program has been implemented. In large part, this could not be accomplished without the dedication and ardor of the school’s program coordinators. The paxUnited trainers are astonished at their willingness to go above and beyond for this program in a time when educators are continually being asked to do more with less. In the midst of a tremendous workload, they are emphatically committed to empowering their mediators to create and foster a positive, peaceful environment in their school and community.

In the face of adversity, a truly dedicated team of peer mediators and their coordinators are doing everything they are capable of in order to positively change the social climate of their school by offering assistance and bringing peace to all those that they encounter.

We couldn’t be more proud.

By Trey Brown
Training Specialist

Chilly weather, carols, fruit cake and classic movies are some of the signs that the holiday season is upon us.  This is a magical time of year when we celebrate miracles and spread cheer to one and all. Although, it is tempting to get caught up with the stress associated with things like in-laws and bills, a favorite holiday movie brings back fond memories and reminds us of the holiday spirit. While watching your favorite holiday movies this year, try looking for special meanings and hidden gifts inside.  Here are a few of my personal favorites:

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Starring: Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid

Message: Acceptance and Giving

This movie is considered a comedy classic, mostly because of the unique and outrageous events that happen to Clark Griswold. In addition to all the outrageous slap-stick comedy, messages of acceptance and giving are prevalent throughout the film. Clark Griswold wants his family to have the best Christmas ever. However, Clark’s plans quickly go awry when uninvited family shows up, Christmas lights don’t work, he gets locked in the attic, the Christmas turkey turns out to be dryer than the Sahara, a family cat is electrocuted, and most of all, the Christmas bonus he was depending on turns out to be a yearlong membership to the “jelly of the month club” instead of a check.  After all the obstacles that come Clark’s way, he realizes the importance of accepting one’s family by concentrating on their strengths, rather than their weaknesses. We are reminded of giving when Clark buys presents for the children of his unexpected house guests and when Clark’s boss, Mr. Shirley, is reminded that it doesn’t matter how successful you are if you have to hurt the people that helped make you successful. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is an enjoyable “laugh till your tummy hurts” movie, but it’s important to remember the lessons given to us by this holiday classic.

It’s a Wonderful Life
Starring: James Stewart, Donna Reed, Henry Travers

Message: Self Worth

George Bailey grew up with giant dreams and aspirations. He dreamed of seeing the world and building “cities that touch the sky.” However, tragedy strikes just before he is set to leave his hometown to being these adventures, leaving George behind to run the family business and take care of everyone but himself. Hardship after hardship hits George and he begins to loath his family, friends and life because he is bound by obligation. In the end, George finally realizes how good his life really is when Clarence, an angel, shows him what the world would be like without him in it. Like George, we have specials gifts and make important contributions to the world even though we may not see it.  We must value ourselves; one of the reasons this story has stood the test of time because of the theme that each and every one of us matters and is worth far more than we may realize.  It is important that we all have self worth, celebrate our gifts and see value in all that we do.

ELF
Starring: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zoey Deschanel, Bob Newhart

Message: Believe and Generosity

We are childlike. We live in wonder. Buddy the Elf exemplifies these ideas as he begins his journey from the North Pole to New York City to find his biological family. Buddy quickly learns that not everyone in New York City are as friendly as those from the North Pole and that no one really seems to believe in Santa Claus. In bringing Christmas cheer to everyone he encounters, Buddy reminds us all about the true meaning of Christmas and that the spirit of believing and family are more important than any material possession. During the holidays we sometimes get caught up in what we get, rather than what we give. Try not to worry about how much you get or are able to give, but cherish important relationships, memories and the gift of each other.

The Family Stone
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Diane Keaton, Luke Wilson, Craig T. Nelson

Message: Family and Acceptance

There is nothing more important than family.  Meeting the family of a loved one for the first time can be both scary and intimidating. When Everett brings his girlfriend, Meredith, home to meet the family for the first time she finds herself overwhelmed in a room full of room of history and inside jokes.  Meredith finds it difficult to fit into the complicated family dynamic and Everett’s family does not immediately embrace her.  Throughout all of their petty arguments and squabbling, the family realizes that the time they have with each other is a precious gift and that they need to stop judging each other for their differences and accept people for who they truly are. So many times we do not accept those who are different from us. We fight the things we can’t change and worry about what is outside of our control. This holiday season, try to remember the time we get to spend together is one of the greatest presents we can receive.

Bad Santa
Starring: Billy Bob Thorton, Bernie Mac, John Ritter

Message: There is Good in Everyone

This movie is not suitable for children, however it carries a good message all the same. We have all done things we regret. We have all suffered in some way. We had moments in our lives where it was difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Willie, the main character in this movie, despises his life and everyone in it.  He spends his time posing as a Santa Claus in malls so he can stake them out s in order to rob them. Unexpectedly, Willie encounters a kid that believes he is the real Santa Claus.  As a result of seeing the “good” in this horrible person, the kid slowly starts to make Willie think about his lifestyle and we see him change for the better.  Bad Santa shows us that everyone has “good” in them. By choosing to focus on the positive, you are helping to bring all of the goodness out. This season, choose to see the “good” in not only people, but in every situation you encounter.

By Matt Kennedy
Research & Grants Specialist

“The simple act of caring is heroic.” – Edward Albert

On this day in:

1863 - President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the Reconstruction of the South.
            Lincoln’s plan for Reconstruction, which President Andrew Johnson implemented after Lincoln’s assassination, showed how much Lincoln truly cared about the well-being of slaves. Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation freed the slaves, and his plan for Reconstruction took the first step to creating a world former slaves would want to be free in.
            Lincoln’s entire life is a prime example of how to properly care for others.  His capacity for great empathy was likely first instilled as a child. Unlike the affluence of many Presidential families, Lincoln arose from the modest means of a one room log cabin with a dirt floor in Illinois.

1980 - Mark David Chapman shot and killed John Lennon in New York City. Earlier in the day, Lennon autographed an album for Chapman.
            On the 31st anniversary of Lennon’s death, we are reminded of his song, “Imagine.” The song paints one of the most poignant pictures to date of what the world would be like if everyone tapped into their full potential to care for one another. As Lennon puts it best, “Imagine all the people sharing for the world. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us and the world will live as one.”

2000 - Sting received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
            One of the ways the musician Sting showed his ability to care was by establishing The Rainforest Foundation with his wife, Trudy. The couple holds a benefit concert every year for the foundation andre all proceeds are donated to activist groups supporting the conservation of the rainforest. In honor of Sting’s efforts, a species of Colombian tree frog was named in his honor. The frog is called Dendropsophus stingi.

Caring is just one of the character traits highlighted in paxUnited’s® Extraordinary People Living Character, which is the character development component of Peers Making Peace^©. This program gives students the opportunity to utilize these positive character traits to improve their campus environment through service. The 10 main aspects of positive character Extraordinary People Living Character aims at improving are: the ability to care, courage, citizenship, diligence, fairness, honesty, integrity, respect, responsibility, and trustworthiness.

paxUnited hopes your holiday season is filled with the generosity of caring family and friends.

By Matt Kennedy
Research & Grants Specialist

Savoring the last bite of grandma’s stuffing. Sharing stories with family and friends around the dinner table. For many, family meals are an annual tradition, occurring during Thanksgiving or Christmas. For others, family meals are nightly activities that actively improve the health of teens.

In fact, teens who have five to seven family dinners per week are almost four times as likely to not use tobacco, more than twice as likely to abstain from drinking alcohol and two-and-a-half times as likely to not use marijuana compared to teens that have fewer than three family meals per week, according to The Importance of Family Dinners VII, a recently released report, by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.

The secret to improving the health and well-being of teens is not in grandma’s stuffing, but in the conversations that take place around it. Of teens who reported having dinner with their family at least once a week, 75 percent reported interaction and being together to be the best part of family dinners.

The benefits of effective communication are well known to paxUnited®, our programs focus on teaching students communication skills and providing opportunities for youth to resolve conflicts and solve problems at school through mediation and mentoring programs. The communication techniques paxUnited uses at schools also work with families at home. However, a necessary component of effective communication is creating an established environment where communication can take place. At schools, established communication environments are designated mediation classrooms or natural mentoring areas of the school like the cafeteria or the locker-room. With families, the most effective communication area is the dinner table.

Sadly, many dinner tables remain empty, as 42 percent of American families don’t partake in regular family meals according to the study. “McMeal” times in the car and meals in front of the TV occur all too often in place of family meals. Excuses such as time constraints and busy schedules have morphed into a culture that has widely accepted the practice of abandoning the dinner table.

A popular, currently-running television advertisement identifies the solution to family conflict as giving each family member the ability to watch and record up to four TV shows at once so that each family member could watch their favorite program in four separate rooms of the house. Widespread acceptance of this commercial suggests a shift in family priorities. The clearly defined benefits of having regular family meals in The Importance of Family Dinners VII report should be incentive enough to move away from the TV and to the dinner table as a way to improve family relationships and the outlook of teens.

Strong family relationships are vitally important to the well-being of teens and relationships must be nurtured. According to the study, teens that have frequent family dinners are almost twice as likely to report having an “excellent” relationship with their parents. Three times as many teens surveyed in the report said they would like to spend more time with their parents than teens that said they would like to spend less time with their parents. 

If parents are unable to have regular family dinners, it is important that they make time to communicate with their child on a regular basis in some other way. Family meals are an ideal time to routinely talk about what is going on in teen’s lives, but if family meals are not possible, routine conversations while driving teens to school or some other time prove valuable.

As you talk with your family members around the dinner table this Thanksgiving, paxUnited hopes you cherish the time you have with loved ones and remember how truly important relationships with your family and friends are.